Hunches, Beliefs & Dreams

There was a time in my life, when I was extremely bored about the way it had evolved. And, then I would dream longingly about some trivial matters. Many of these matters would have subconscious beginnings, lacking a powerful logic which would have rendered it a mass appeal.

To think of it, on reflection, a doubt which lingers is - is it a question of dreaming about the obvious-impending event and hence.. achieve a sense of gratification when it does happen.. OR, is it really positively biasing my actions/directions which cause the 'event/experience' to happen.

Or is the 'energy' concept really working. In the sense, that I long for something subconsciously... my actions are inadvertently being directed .. and the 'energy' seems to conspire over an elongated time frame to make 'it' happen. Of course, the 'energy' is kind enough to expose me to the vacillations of every day life.. that I would have obviously given up on 'it'..and then surprise..an iota of an oppurtunity is thrown at me ..in the direction of 'it'.. How I take it ahead is my fate.. under my control.

I know this blog would be teteering on the edge of a self help book which speaks about - Why you should dream and a theory on how dreams come true! Cant help it. But, I detest self help books and would kick the poop out of it, day in and day out.

Let me throw some examples to clear the air -
a. While in my engineering, I hated the schoolish nature of PESIT (damn it- hope this figures in the future google searches on PESIT). Paved the way for some excellent rebellion material. Same logic as China or the oppressed India/Newton's law - Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. More you suppress, more the potential for uprising. While, I understand it would be a normal distribution, by Newtons theory, uprising would be the mean.

And, wished that I should have taken KREC - which was available on a platter. Not so much for the brand, but for the hostel life in a rather secluded sleepy town. Few years later, Jamshedpur happened.

b. Maths was interesting to me. And, seemed at an arms length. Took a brief myopic sojourn under an attempted hypothesis, that, maths really didnt make economic sense. Now, am at analytics and relishing it. Not, tat I'm a stud. But, catching up for the lost time. Modesty, by yours truly.

c. Wanted to be on par with dad on some key non-sensical metrics - Buying a house at 27. The project to buy one started and ended in a sudden flash of adrenalin over 2 months.

While there are many more I can quote, it is fairly interesting to make a note of some more and check if they came true later. But, till now, it was all subconscious. I'm trying to churn it out and note it here.

Ride a harley in India for 15+ years. Head a firm in India for a considerable length of time. Retire by 52.5. Try various random stuff before retiring.. in terms of roles/industries/concepts. Push my ability to the hilt coupled with sojourns of infinitely boring stints. Travel all around the world with loads of cash. Spend a year or more in a remote country's rural hinterlands with my spouse. Become a minister in state/central govt (:D). Run a hotel or a bar or a school after retirement. Drive a space-ship kinda air-car, which travels at the speed of light years, after which there wouldnt be any concept of boundaries. Just imagine, it wouldnt really make any difference if you stayed in US or India, if that happened. What a change that would be.

And...expire by 67, mostly in a heart attack - plain simple. No prolonged stints in hospital, beat around the bush etc. Push the bucket, gently and say bye!, amidst pin drop silence. Drop the pin!

I think luck strikes me like a thunderbolt.. when it has finished granting the largesse of bounty to everyone around. And, it would strike me as if to say, you know what " I've not been fair to you. So, here's my share. But, dont be too happy. Its just only a very little bit. To ensure, that you will keep aspiring for more luck, which I will ration from time to time. I know you are a BPL candidate - below public levels of luck".

So, here is the outlier's journey. And, about re-birth - I hope I get employed in heaven - playing the lair or something at the gates - to every passersby and earn food, love out of story telling. I eat a lot, btw.